(I originally wrote this article for The Local - Fort Greene and Clinton Hill in Brooklyn, where I cover religion and community life as my beat through the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism, and I thought I'd share it with the Revelife community.)

 

 

The Rev. Michael Sniffen sat in a small circle surrounded by five of his church members, leaning forward in a black plastic chair with a maroon padded seat, smiling and nodding, engaged in conversation. His voice echoed throughout the church, painted shades of amber and blue-green, and covered by stained glass windows on all sides.

“Is there any other time that you were encouraged by others that you remember?” Father Sniffen asked as he looked out at the small group of parishioners, all in their 60′s and over, sitting in a circle in the front right-hand corner of the Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Clinton Hill. When the room fell silent, except for the sound of cars whizzing past outside, Father Sniffen told the story of a letter that nearly brought him to tears on the subway earlier this week. It was from a Texas minister who was once active in the civil rights movement.

“She just ended her note by saying, ‘so we can no longer be in the street, but we’re glad to know that there’s another generation of clergy who will fight for what we fought for,’” Father Sniffen said. “For her, she may have thought, ‘Oh, let me just send a little note,’ but the power sometimes of being encouraged by people who we don’t even know is very powerful.”

It was in this spirit of encouragement that Father Sniffen, 31, organized a discussion group at his church around a book called “Twelve Steps To A Compassionate Life,” by Karen Armstrong. The book focuses on concrete ways to be more compassionate, drawing from the teachings of world religions. 

The group, which first met on Sept. 14 and will hold its last meeting on Nov. 23, grew out of church members’ desires to come together for a community study. When Father Sniffen first heard Ms. Armstrong speak, he was convinced that her book would be a strong foundation for the study.

Those in attendance at the church meeting said that, little by little, the group has helped them to reconsider the way they treat people. Father Sniffen hopes that, at the end of St. Luke and St. Matthew’s 11-week program, a larger compassion-based group will develop in the Fort Greene and Clinton Hill.

Audrey Rowe, 63, said she believes that, with the breakneck pace of gentrification in the area, it’s sometimes difficult for local residents to show compassion for each other. People of different backgrounds in the area tend to clash instead of come together, she said. But the group is helping her to change that mindset.

“We strive to appreciate one another rather than melt in to what I am or you are or he is or she is and because of all these different flavors in the neighborhood,” Ms. Rowe said. “This has kind of taught us to respect one another.”

Some local residents who were not at the meeting said that their community is already built on respect and compassion.

“I find Brooklyn to be warmer, you know, warmer as a metaphor,” said Ati Don of Clinton Hill. “It feels like a village…people still have a wonderful spirit of living in a village.”

“Everybody is kind to others,” said Clinton Hill resident James Powell, 79, of his neighbors. “We have no problem. I wake up every morning and they say, ‘Hi’ and ‘How are you.’”

Some group members also shared their experiences dealing with those who failed to consider others’ feelings. Those who had injured them with biting words.

“Someone who was very dear to me said to me one time, ‘I wish your mother had aborted you before you were born,’” said Barbara Bowen, 81. She recalled that this incident turned her into “a hateful person, a person I didn’t like myself.” But those hateful feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be.

“I don’t know that I’ve really gotten over the hate, but I’ve passed over it,” Ms. Bowen said.

Father Sniffen shuddered as Ms. Bowen told her story.

“Thanks for sharing that,” he said when she finished. He emphasized the affect that hurtful words could have on a person’s life.

“We might think, I’m just going to get this off my chest and then five minutes later, we’ve forgotten about it, Father Sniffen said. “But the impact that that has had on someone else might be lasting.”

Rabbi Zali Abramowitz of the Chabad of Fort Greene said he recognizes the importance of compassion within his congregation. The Chabad runs a program called Teens Giving Back, where both Jewish and non-Jewish youth visit the elderly at nursing homes and the Brooklyn Hospital Center to share time with and comfort them.

And compassion is built into the Jewish community’s everyday life, Rabbi Abramowitz said. He said his congregants begin their day by saying: “We hereby take upon ourselves today and we treat others the way we want to be treated.”

“You don’t wait until the middle of the day or the end of the day,” he explained. “It’s right at the beginning before anything starts.”

What does being compassionate mean for you? Do those in your community act compassionately toward each other, or is that an area where your neighborhood needs to grow?

I just read an article promoting a new book by the Christian author and entrepreneur Mark Steele entitled Christianish.  In this book, Steele discusses his belief that Christians often put on a false front to outsiders, and fail to let others know how their relationship with Jesus Christ transformed their lives. 

Steele urges that although Christ has redeemed us, we should never forget who we used to be.  Sharing our stories about the sin, doubt, confusion, or disbelief that once encompassed our lives, and how Jesus "lifted us out" can be an incredibly strong model for those who do not yet know Him as their Savior. 

"Christ transforms us, takes us through the rough stuff. But Christ doesn't transform us so we would bury who we used to be, hide it, and somehow put a mask on it," Steele said. "He expects us to allow others to see who we used to be and how he transformed us, so that they can believe they are transformable as well."

He adds that Christians are often too quick to hone in on their own self-righteousness and pointing out the sinful ways of others.  According to Steele, Christians often fail to let others know that they are sinners too, redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ.

"It is only in loving people to Jesus that Jesus and his power [are] able to affect them in a way that they are transformed and they are convicted of their sin and they do want to change," Steele explained. "But for some reason we feel guilty if we don't slam every detail about them that is not living perfection. We feel like we have to call that all out on the carpet before we can love someone to Jesus."

This article led me to re-examine how important it is for us as Christians to share our testimonies with others.  I was never really one for sharing with others my personal story of spiritual growth. I never really even thought about my personal journey.  I knew that I had come to the point of being firm in my faith, and the how  didn't really matter -- to me at least.

An evangelism class I took for one semester in college called "Becoming a Contagious Christian" challenged me to think otherwise.  "Maybe a non-believer has encountered similar things in life that you have," our instructor told us.  "Your story could lead others to Christ."

Although I don't have the most life-altering story, a complete 360-degree turn-around moment, I've come to value my testimony more and share it more often than I ever have before.  (My initial growth in my faith is best expressed in this post.  Another story I like to share with others about how God has helped me through personal struggles along the way is revealed here.)

Do you agree with Steele, that we as Christians need to talk to non-believers about how we used to be and how Christ transformed us, instead of constantly honing in on the sinful ways of others?  Do you often share your testimony with others, and do you think it has made an impact?

  I just finished reading a post entitled "Reality Church?" that lays out the steps the average Christian undergoes when growing in their faith, becoming comfortable at their church, and getting involved in ministries there. Although I don't think the stages are 100 percent accurate, and I doubt that every Christian goes through these steps in this exact order, I think they are still worth examining.  Here is the list:

Second Stage: We begin getting involved, learn behind the scenes things, feel privileged to know the church staff and leaders more personally, we are totally excited.

 Third Stage: We see things you start to question, the thrill of the big church meetings wanes, as it seems more and more predictable, the leaders seem more human now and not as special as first.

 Fourth Stage: We start to get tired of serving in ministry. It seems routine now and we only see it as fueling the big meeting that we don't really like anymore. The leaders we once were in awe of now seem not only normal, but there is a suspicion of self-serving vs. serving the church in their motives. We lose excitement and wonder if church is even something we should be part of. We grow more disillusioned by the day.

 Fifth Stage: Total disillusionment, begin feeling bitter towards church leaders, and wonder why people don’t question things more. We sit in the big meeting and feel very alone. We look at the crowds around us and don't feel like we belong anymore. Is church just a produced big meeting? We are tired and it even angers us to see excited new people joining the church as we now know how it really works and how they too will eventually become tired like we are and see church is a program and organized religion.

 Sixth Stage: We silently drop out of church. We read the Bible and early church history and see that they didn't have bigger weekly meetings in the early church. We read "house church" literature and begin thinking this is the real New Testament church. We get excited about really doing church the right way and not the big organized way. We find a few other disillusioned Christians and either form or join some sort of small house church gathering. We want it to be simple and not "organized" or programmed or big, but pure like the early church. Everyone all sharing together, true community will happen here, unlike the bigger programmed meetings.

 Seventh Stage: Fairly quickly, we realize it isn't too easy leading people. Even in a small house church. People don't show up, or you have people dominating conversations. There is the same bickering, some gossip, people whispering to others that they are not happy with how the meeting went etc. We sometimes try to sing worship songs with ten people and it feels very odd. So you don't try to sing anymore, but do secretly miss the corporate singing that happens in a larger group. Eventually we find the same disappointments in the smaller house church that we did in the bigger programmed church, but at a different level. We get even more disillusioned, as we realize that even the key leaders (including ourselves) and the people of the house church are just as messed up as the big church leaders and people in those churches.

We also feel subtly uncomfortable that the house church feels a bit inward focused. It would be weird to have non-Christians break up the intimate dialog and prayer we have taken such a long time to establish together. But we know something has to be done, as we keep thinking about those who don't know Jesus and that our house church might not be the best place to invite them. Plus dealing with little kids running around every week during your meeting certainly limits your full engagement into the Bible discussion. We get more disheartened as our 4 year old knocks the entire strawberry shortcake dessert onto the kitchen floor as he was trying to get at it early before it is served at the house church.

 Eighth Stage: We stop going to any church of any kind. We forget it all. Watch a lot of TV. Play video games. We go see the Dukes of Hazzard movie.

 Ninth Stage: We begin missing other Christians, and regular fellowship. We do some introspection and eventually deal with the disappointments and high expectations that we had. We begin a new level of maturity and thinking about the church and church leaders.

We start thinking about our options. We don't want to go to a preaching-driven church that just has everything revolve around the senior pastor or the preacher, as that subtly creates passive spectators who depend on the preacher to "feed" them weekly - rather than maturing as Christians whom should primarily be "feeding" ourselves (since we aren't infants anymore). We don't want to go to a hyper-Reformed church where we feel guilty all the time and get caught up in the everybody else is worldy and wrong but us mentality. We don't feel good about the seeker-type of churches where everyone is so happy, the music is hyper-cheery and we fill in the blanks in the notes they give out. That excites us for a little while, when we fill in the blanks, because it feels like you are really learning. But after a while we see the stack thickening in our Bibles that we stuff them in and realize that we have never even looked at them since we filled them in. We look at our notes that we filled the blanks in on, and can't remember a single thing from these sermons, even the one from two weeks ago.

 Tenth Stage:  So, we slowly go back to our original church that we at first felt good in because of the overall vision and mission that drew us to it in the first place. We find that the leaders do admit freely to you there are weaknesses and flaws and mess ups and ego issues, but still try their best to blend both the bigger meetings and smaller home meetings for the purpose of the mission. They try to be organized, without being "Organized".

It's not perfect, but we begin to enjoy and even more appreciate the benefits and momentum of the church. But now we get involved with more realistic expectations of what church is and understand the leaders are just like us, trying their best to serve Jesus. We become happy again with a balanced life and imperfect church family all serving on a mission together.

I certainly have not gone through all of these stages, and I'm having trouble pinpointing what stage I'm currently at.  But as I read through each of the stages, I could relate to much of what the poster was discussing.  It brought to mind the erratic combination of excitement and dissatisfaction that I experienced during my years singing in the music ministry at my church.  (I always returned to the excitement, though.)  If it's possible to be at more than one of these stages at once, that's probably where I'm at right now.

Do you think that these stages apply to your faith journey and your experience with your church?  If so, what stage(s) are you at?